?

Log in

Previous 10

Apr. 21st, 2009

Coffee

A Life Uncluttered

It remains a mystery to me how people find enough hours in the day.  I guess a lot of people don't find themselves spending quite as many hours in front of a computer screen as I seem to these days.  Which would be fine, if I were actually accomplishing anything... But instead I spend my hours watching television, reading blogs, and watching video podcasts.  Though much of this has to do with a momentary rut.

In all of my wisdom, my gallivanting about at night finally landed a deer in the front of my car.  It's been a bit of an ordeal, involving at least two sleepless nights followed by working eight to ten hours.  I've almost felt like a television ER doctor a couple times this week.  But things are becoming resolved, and that's a relief.  But dammit, deer, what are you doing in the middle of the road?  You don't belong there.  You go back to your forest and frolic.  <Grumbling ensues>

That would be my weak update.  I haven't had the time to do anything even remotely interesting for a while, so I'm pictureless for now.  And probably will continue to be pictureless until I can force myself to figure out all of this photo editing software.

They call it the life effect.

Apr. 9th, 2009

Coffee

They say that the Devil is in the details.

So I looked closer, but all I see is dots.

Around me everything still looks the same.
But it isn't.  I've been slowly getting rid of this and that.  My life has become too cluttered.  It's time to clean house.  You know how many video games I seem to own. And so many notebooks.  And books, movies, CDs (an out of date format, I think), and clothes.  How much of this have I touched in the last year?  Not enough to warrant keeping most of this around.  I've made my life more complicated by these collections of useless garbage.

And so I've decided upon a better way.  I don't need the next big thing.  I've mostly got everything I need.  And so it's all beginning to go, piece by piece.  A life uncluttered.  An actual space that allows me to work effectively.

I'm beginning to sound like the writers over at Lifehack.

But I think they're on to something.  It promotes positive energy within my workspace when it's tidy and I can find what I'm looking for or get around my desk without tripping over something.  And by promotes positive energy I mean I curse the heavens less frequently.

Now, back to work.

Apr. 3rd, 2009

Coffee

Because I Could Not Stop for Death, She Kindly Stopped for Me

What you seek, you shall never find.
For when the Gods made man,
They kept immortality for themselves.
Fill your belly,
Day and night make merry.,
Let Days be full of joy.
Love the child that holds your hand.
Let your wife delight in your embrace.
For these alone are the concerns of man.
 
 -The Epic of Gilgamesh

 
I decided to go through some of my old things and found things that we had written one another.  Some of them were from AIM.  I've forgotten how much I liked the AIM status messages.  Yahoo! Messenger is alright, but it just doesn't allow the away messages that AIM does.  I liked being able to use different fonts and colors and entire paragraphs.  I like an open canvas, sometimes.

"
Your logic circuits will go haywire today. Try as you might you can't seem to make a common sense decision. If, as a result, you upset a friend or family member you will have to apologize profusely early next week - and maybe pay a forfeit too." April 3, 2009 New York Post horoscope: Capricorn

Dead on, for a change. 

I hate to admit it, but I often find myself checking with the stars be for making silly decisions.  It often doesn't affect the outcome of my decision, I think.  But I do it for fun anyway.  Something about old world religions appeals to me.  You know, all of that mythology and whatnot that I'm into.  Sometimes I think I let my passions get the better of me.  I allow them to do silly things.  I celebrate solstices with my friends over drinks and good food and fires in the park rather than dressing up in costumes or exchanging baskets or whatever that holiday might call for, for example.  It's just more fun to get together and laugh and chat.

But I'm kind of silly sometimes.  I've been playing with my Nintendo DS for at least an hour everyday.  It's been so much fun.  I can be anywhere and just do a quick Sudoku puzzle or play some Tetris or whatever.  What an age we live in... How old does that make me sound?  Hm.

Well.  Books!

Mar. 31st, 2009

Coffee

(no subject)

I've decided what I want to do.  I know what calls me.  And it is, most unsurprisingly, to write.

It takes me by surprise sometimes, though.  I being feeling like shit or just off, and I can't quite pinpoint any one thing that should be making me feel this way.  I'm fine.  Everything is always fine.  So then why do I feel like this? And then it dawns on me that I haven't written anything in a while and I'm losing contact with the things that make me who I want to be. 

I quit asking what defines a person some time ago.  I just don't care anymore.
  I'm done questing for self-definition.  People are too complex to define.  It just doesn't work. We simple are who we are.  I will one day be defined as a writer, for better or for worse.  And hopefully I'll be in a position to take walks with a dog and a loved one in the mornings as I sip my coffee and take in the morning air and dewy ground.  And my days will be filled with words and works of my creation and fans might write me letters and friends will stop by from time to time to share stories.  If I'm lucky and I can hone my skills I can go on book tours and meet interesting people.

But this is just a definition by the masses, and it doesn't matter.  I am me.  And I'm more complex than just being a writer, aren't I?  I'm everything.  I'm everything that makes up a person.

Today I was a photographer scoping out my next target.  I shot some quick shots of a piece of Guerilla Art in the form of a Stop Sign with a sticker on it.  It was unfortunately around 3 PM, which is a terrible time to take photos like this.  The light quality is just no good, and photos usually come out looking a bit too bright or over exposed.  So I just took a couple quick shots to keep this object in mind and consider exactly what I want to do with it.  It's something for me to think about for a couple of days until I'm ready to go back and get the actual work done.  Well, the fun part, anyway.
  
In the mean time I'm considering my next book.  What to read, what to read.
I am everything.

Mar. 24th, 2009

Coffee

Stuck on Earth

Yes, I know it's cloudy.  And I deal with that about as well as you do.  But Seattle is seeming more and more like the place to be.  It's the temperature that gets me.  It almost seems like it was built for me, or I for it.  Except that damned sunlight.  There just isn't enough of it.  Although there is a lot of rain, and I sure do love rain.

It's the future, though.  And the stars just don't seem to be very clear on my future.  Am I to be a writer?  Or an artist?  Or a photographer?  Maybe I'll combine the three.  I started to a while ago, but something happened and I got distracted.  To be honest, I don't remember what that was.  I probably just worked a couple of long weeks and forgot all about it.  I seem to do that an awful lot.  But I'm a distractionist.  That's just the way I've been thus far.  It's probably time that I change that.

I'm sorry I haven't posted lately.  I've been meaning to, but something keeps coming up or I get tired because I've been running on fumes for the last few weeks.  It got bad.  Really bad.  The lack of sleep because enough of an issue that I finally started taking sleeping pills again.  Only for a couple of nights to get my rhythm back, but I think a couple of nights may become three or four.  And I'm just going to have to cut these late nights out.  I'll have to motivate myself to be more productive during the days.  It's just the way of things.

This post is going to be inadequate as I've been groggy since I woke up.  I think I just haven't managed to catch up with my missed sleep yet.  Good night, Cybil-girl.

Mar. 11th, 2009

Coffee

Things get fucked up at the worst times.

There's a bit in the book American Gods that is truly just a stroke of brilliance.  I can imagine Neil Gaiman writing this passage, his pen feverishly scribbling across paper (in my mind Gaiman writes on paper rather than typing on a word processor) as the words flow through him in that way that words can from time to time.  And I absolutely love it and feel most at peace when the words flow through me like that, though the less I write the less frequently that occurs.  The passage comes from Chapter 13, and it goes like this:

"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen — I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

Apparently I wasn't the only one that enjoyed this bit, as someone decided it needed to be on a t-shirt.  And it's things like this that make it no wonder to me why it's one of my favorite books.  The consistant references to mythology are right up my alley, and it's kind of dark, and sometimes it's a bit scary.  I love it and return to it often, like and old friend...

Sunday was quite the fucked up day for me.  My car is now officially d-e-d, dead.  And it really couldn't have happened at a worse time.  I've been telling my friend Amanda that I'll go to one of her plays (really, I'd like to go to all of them, but things just don't often work out that way), and I really made a big build up to going to her play on Sunday.  I grab Ben and he and I set out to go to the Shilling Center to see my friend act.  My car, however, had other plans.  It was about halfway there that we decided it simply wasn't going to be safe to drive there and had to return home.  This makes the third play I've missed due to the gods smiting me, and now I don't even have the courage to sign on to Yahoo! Messenger and talk to her.

I know how cowardly it is, but I feel like the most unreliable person on the planet right now.  Not to mention feeling like a terrible friend.  Sigh...  It's just really embarressing that I've told her I'd go to three of her plays and I've missed every one.  You know I show up to things that I schedule!  Geez.

Anyway, I actually have to look into getting a new car now.  I should be find for a few weeks, but that isn't going to last.  I can only sponge off of my friends for rides for so long before they'll get fed up with it.  Really, they probably don't mind, because they're like that.  Nevertheless, I need to get a-moving moving on that.  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Otherwise I haven't been doing anything but school and work.  Keeping it uninteresting.  I'll try to post again soon.
We still go on.

Mar. 3rd, 2009

Coffee

You Forgot It in People

Did I want to go to one before?  I can't remember.  Well, the point is that I went to one, and it was a lot of fun.  There were a lot of fun, kind people putting on demonstrations and shows and selling their wares.  It was an experience I'm glad I had.

Sorry for the delay in my posting.  Apparently LiveJournal hasn't been liking me.  I've been getting some message about an infinite loop or some such craziness.  I don't know.  Whatever.  I'm in now, though via laptop, so I'm guessing it's my computer.

I've managed to continue my trend of not doing a damn thing and doing it really well.  I feel bad about it every night as I'm getting ready for bed, because I know that it's been another day wasted.  Motivation isn't the issue so much as I keep hanging out with my friends instead of getting things done.  It feels like the days are too short and gone before I  know it.  I really need to hop on using my Wacom and figureing out how to use GIMP (the poor man's Adobe Photoshop).

My next day off is Thursday, so I'll force myself to not hang out with my friends.  Or I'll con them into helping me with some of my work load.  Something.  Maybe I'll go out and take some stock photography to sell.  Selling stock photography seems like a quick way to make some money.  And money is definitely something I could right now as I'm saving for a new car.  Still, I'll need to go through my previous work and find some that I can sell as stock photography and go out and take some more.  Of course it's no get rick scheme.  Most stock sites will give the photographer less than 50% of the selling price.  It's just a little supplemental income while I'm saving for a car and a few other things here and there.

Meanwhile, I'm reading a few webcomics, such as Questionable Content, Girls with Slingshots, and A Softer World.  I can't believe how far Jeph Jaques has come since the first Questionable Content.  His art has gone from medocre to fantastic over the years, and he's been making a living off of the comic alone for some time now.  Danielle Corsetto's comic, Girls with Slingshots, is just a fun comic I like to read from time to time.  She attends a lot fo comic conventions and has an amazing relationship with her fans that I covet something fierce.  And of course A Softer World is an incredible amalgmation of Emily Horne's photography and Joey Comeau's writing.  As Kate Beaton says, "You can't take photos like Emily and you can't write like Joey."  Or something like that.  It may not be an exact quote, but she does hit the nail on the head.  It's great and controvercial and sexy and funny.

Well, until next time, my dear, devoted reader.  Good night, Cybil-girl.

Always somewhere.

Feb. 24th, 2009

Coffee

(no subject)

Well, as you can see I didn't make the post I wanted to yesterday.  Things got busier than I had expected.  And with being sick recently I lost a lot of time that I would have liked to have to get a few things done.  But I had to make up for some of the time I took off work, so that went out the window.

In October there was a renaissance fair in Decatur.  I've never been to a renaissance fair before, as it's not really my kind of thing, but I really had a blast.  Calls started coming in early on a Sunday morning from all over.  "Klaus, you have to get to the Decatur Conference Center! There's something going on that you need to take pictures of."  So I rolled out of bed around noon and by two I was there shooting pictures.
 
I was surprised to have as much fun as I did.  So many people in their regalia and singing and dancing.  It was like some kind of strange party.  Which I guess would be a fairly accurate way of describing it.  I'd like to go next year (if it's here again) better prepared for the pictures I want to get.  As it stood I was just kind of randomly shooting, and since I've clearly been trained better than that, it was just a waste of my time and talent.

But I was lucky to find the girl in the above photo posing for me and these personable minstrels singing Irish drinking songs.

...I have to get ready for work.  I'll try to finished this when I get home.
 

Feb. 23rd, 2009

Coffee

(no subject)

He said, "Make yourself some tea."

Yes, I'm feeling much better now.  Whatever I had hit me pretty hard.  I missed a few days of work, but now I'm back and almost to 100%.  I'm now drinking tea in the middle of the night whilst IMing friends and trying to decide upon my next move.  The obligation I feel constantly to continue work upon my current projects or the mountain of books I haven't read is taunting me as always, but I think I might just spend a little time playing a video game instead.

However, before taking on the task of video games (or those obligations, which ever I might choose), I'd like to write to you for a moment.  It was an easy week at work, short as it may have been for me.  I'm not sure if I just had my mojo working or if the customers really were different, but nothing seemed like a big deal.  It's been refreshing.  Tomorrow I have a day off to spend cleaning and relaxing and making sure that the coming week will cooperate with me.  My only worry at the moment is that NyQuil gives me nightmares, but I think I might need it to get a decent night's rest.

Usually nightmares aren't a big deal.  It's just a dream and I can deal with that.  But there's something about NyQuil that causes me to wake after these bad dreams unable to distinguish between dream and reality for several minutes.  I often lay in a panic trying to desypher what my brain was processing; trying to decide if I'm still dreaming or awake.  I of course eventually understand that yes, I am indeed awake.  But it's disturbing nevertheless and no, I don't like it one bit.

Well, my attention is being requested else where at the moment.  Tomorrow I'll try to post some pictures and a bit of substance.  Good night, Cybil-girl. (And any other friends that might be reading.)

Feb. 17th, 2009

Coffee

(no subject)

I've read most of Neil Gaiman's novels.  Anansi Boys is actually a sequel to a book called American Gods, which is easily one of my favorite books of all time.  If you like Anasi Boys (which is a more of a comedy than American Gods), then I recommend checking out some of Christopher Moore's books.  He's a satirical writer that's often just hilarious.  Right now I'm sick, so I'm going to go back to sleep.  Some kind of nasty flu or something.  But a friend is bringing over some kind of present for me to make me feel better.  Counting my blessings.

Previous 10